sunny sunday

it's a good day to be alive
the sun's coming out and i close my eyes

that's a country song *sigh*

damn country. it's like a life long disease for me. i forget i know it until it rears it's ugly head.

like when i flipped off the man shouting "read that shit" from the open window of his passing vehicle, as i sat reading on the ledge of my front porch.  i didn't look up to acknowledge him or admit my suprise or reveal my expression of disgust and loathing. i responded out of instinct. i only thought for maybe a second before. i didn't look up, i just flipped off the vehicle, already behind me. i didn't bother looking behind me to see if he'd noticed. thankfully yosie had her back turned, as she rode her bike, the first time this season, in front of the shade of the backwoods church next door. shameless on a sunday.

down came this spider, right in front of y's nose, on her way to bed. Mommy the Brave and Kind elected not to smoosh him in a tissue and instead caught him in an empty vitamin jar and transported him to a new home, outdoors.

i haven't felt very well today, plagued by some type of GI bug that gave me the runs. i felt fine before breakfast, but the coffee did me in. i haven't eaten all day, until just now- i indulged in some pistachio pudding i made for d & y. i laced it with Digestive Enzyme supplements, in hope that the green sweetness will not be disarming me later.

now that i think about it, maybe i'd earned it when Y called me an "idiot" earlier, after i asked her to retrieved her urine soaked shorts and underwear from her laundry bin in her room and put them in the laundry room. you know, by flipping off a random person. i'm getting my due punishment by enforcing the consequences of disallowing her from going outside to play the rest of the day.

i finished a book today! "How Far She Went" by Mary Hood (thank you Brit!). It won a Flannery OConnor prize and I saw why. It was a little dark. The last story ended with a suburban mom trying to commit suicide but failing only after she'd thought she'd succeeded. I felt her pain. Not that I want to commit suicide, just that I know what that feels like-- wanting to finally just fully pull something off right. Maybe you'd hafta read the story to understand.... I really liked it. I enjoy being wowed by how much emotion, place and depth of character can be stuffed into a short story and make it feel long, in a good way.

Friday, at work,  I made this stream of conciousness list, between patients and phone calls, room stocking and paperwork. I'm leaving it unedited. Multi-tasking is perhaps not my strongest skill. It's funny proof of gaps in my thinking. It amuses ME anyway. Like, how I couldn't remember the names of all the books I'm reading, but how random country songs take me WAY back to benign childhood memories-- those feelings that are produced by particular  sounds, smells of familiar places and experiences... those odd sensations of something "other" that is not fully understood and nearly impenatrable, perhaps gaurded, or just unattainable in youthful thinking and experience... (i digress)

without further adieu~



my girl. not afraid of frenzied swarming ants.

 Friday Look Back


Books:
Mockingjay
~Mary Hood?


Movies:
Girl Power~ PBS

Praire Love (thank you Melinda!)
Barbie's "Swan Lake" *sigh*


Activities:

Storytime~ ANTS, ATMOSPHERE


FISH


Playground questions- Where IS Yosie from?


Eye dr- Y glasses ~Mom worries

Tecumseh Trail clean up

Music:
Florence and the Machine- See Me Through (Yosie)

Every Light in the House is On

Country @ work= yuck! :(

But...
 “Go With Me” (Josh Turner)

She thinks my tractor’s sexy?

Love Without End Amen (Daddy’s Love)

Chicago (?)- Everything I Do


Hair: Morrocan Oil perfection to ponytail rip out with tears and embracing bizarre unsightly bumps


Signed up for RainbowKids Waiting Children list. Why do I do this to myself?


Free Panera bagels Th. & Friday morning= love my job.
Co-worker telling me family insurance thru my job costs the equiv. of >2 house payments/month = disappointed with my job.
Took on 4 extra days= grateful for my job
@ work: Friendly, but a little lost in her own world


Yoga: came in late. Did 4 “frogs” and Finally did a Full Backbend.(woot!).



http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/468 (yeah, they call them "Crane". Iiii call them "Frog"- cranes don't do this...)



Okay, so I edited a little. I took out the last line (you don't need to know), and I added some spaces, to help clarify. Ask away.

Noticed I added my Shelfari over to the right? Last night I tallied up the books I've read so far and added them to my shelf. Shelfari has a function that lets you set a reading goal (appropriate!). So I told Shelfari what my goal was. It told me I'm behind schedule. David was not surprised when I told him. He said at the rate I'm going I'd finish the year reading a total of 25-28 books at best. Hmph. We'll just see about that. Do you think adding the chapter children's books I read to Yosie @ bedtime should count?

I've been thinking alot lately about how being "involved" in social service group sets one up for obligations and expectations that are not necessarily desired. Perhaps I'm paranoid, but I feel like I set myself up for criticism that undermines my sense of self-worth. This is what: I volunteered for this Friends of the Park group. I really like their goals and what they want to be doing. I agree, litter is a pain. I'm complaining about it. I want to help make a difference. I know that an hr spent with my 4 year old on a 1/10 mile stretch of trail picking up half a bag full of litter isn't exactly shockingly impressive. I would've liked to go to the litter pick up @ the park, where I'd complained publicly about the litter, but I had paid for a yoga class on the night they scheduled it.



i'm not sure what is more typical and annoying: cheap beer in a can, or that it's littering the playground.

 We've not made appreciable updates to our historic home. Not that I don't want to but our pocketbook protests. And there are other important costs like obtaining a Certificate of Citizenship for my daughter: $550. And the 10 year anniversary trip to Paris my husband has long been dreaming up, though we'll travel on a shoestring budget and I'll probably feel ridiculously touristy and stupid for not knowing French and utterly unfashionable, I'll be gloriously happy to have a week with him mostly to myself~ as long as I don't get run over while gawking at some bizarre sight, or lost by walking a block away from him to window shop while he contentedly smokes and drinks coffee at a cafe or floored but utter exhaustion and overstimulation related to jet lag, time change, and culture shock.



yessir. anywhere with you.

 It'll be Fine. it's all going to be fiiiiiinne.
mmmhmm.

this probably isn't helping my stomach ache.
i'm going to plunk in a few of my favorite pix from this month and fatally hit post on this, baby.


to y a small town bingo fundraiser for volunteer fire dept. jokes about prize "bushes" from the number caller (a co-worker), alot of green (st.patty's day) and junk food (contributing to my present stomach issues), and general rural amusement. so many flannery oconnor or mary hood stories in one place...